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Female
Orgasm Have Sex, or Have the Big One --
You Decide.
A guide to the difference between sex and extraordinary
orgasm for women
Here’s a question that has plagued medical science for ages: if
sexual pleasure for both males and females is the evolutionary
guarantee that they’ll get together and procreate, why isn’t
female orgasm as much of a foregone conclusion as men’s?
Recent studies indicate that female orgasm does, indeed,
contribute to the likelihood of conception. Her orgasmic
contractions may serve to help propel sperm toward her eggs, and
some are heartened to think that a biological basis for female
pleasure means somehow it’s OK to spend more time, resources and
research on it. Be that as it may, female orgasm has always
been in the category of “Nice, but not necessary.”
If one is talking about reproduction only, that is.
If we’re talking about individuals or couples experiencing
something on the divine sexual plane, however, all that becomes
irrelevant. The point is, extraordinary, other-worldly pleasure
is possible for women – and in that case, why not go for it?
The super-sexual woman
Most of us know women who are all about sex – always wanting it,
getting it, enjoying it and, sometimes to our irritation,
bragging about it. These exotic creatures talk about orgasm
every time, in every position, with any partner, and it’s always
off-the-charts. Though we’re tempted to say, “yeah, bullshit”
to their Big Talk, the fact is that it’s true – there absolutely
are women who have it, love it, and fly with it on a regular
basis.
In some ideal world, where there is no hormonal imbalance,
fatigue, emotional baggage, traumatic past or disconnected
present, all women are super-sexual. All women have the
capability of enjoying sex and orgasm on that outrageous level.
Yet many don’t or can’t or won’t get there.
Sexual fears and frustrations
The female sexual cycle is rooted in psychology even more than
men’s. While men often succumb to “performance anxiety” or
other fears that derail their sexual abilities, women have deep
needs for closeness and security that either have to be met or
overcome to some extent; they also confront a host of emotional
requirements or voids when engaging in sex; and their hormonal
patterns change throughout their lifetimes.
Expectations and relationship thinking – Women
are somewhat hard-wired to desire an emotional connection along
with their sexual activity. But more and more, the variations
on the paradigm are changing and spreading out all over the map.
To oversimplify, we could say that there are two kinds of
sexually fulfilled women: those whose relationships match up
with their needs for intimacy and security, and those who have
more or less transcended the link between sex and emotion.
The former group gets emotional needs met (at least some of the
time) by their partner, so that sex is a positive forum for
self-expression and enjoyment. The latter group may have an
attitude somewhere along the continuum that stretches from “It’s
nice to be with someone I enjoy” to “I love sex and I don’t
need to be in a relationship to totally enjoy it.”
For either category, there are huge opportunities for new,
greater pleasure. We’ll get to those later in this article.
If there are sexual problems within the confines of an otherwise
healthy relationship, look to some of the explanations that
follow.
Traumatic past – A distressingly high
percentage of the women in America have been sexually molested
or abused. Many of them work back to healthy sexual attitudes
and experiences either on their own or through counseling, but
for some, the pain lingers and shows up in unexpected ways
later. Best recommendation: soft, easy, gentle approaches – or
perhaps, the exploration of the dark side, the edgy part of love
with a true partner. Men in this relationship: pile on the
love, the care, the softness, the all-about-her-ness, and be
open to the possibility that she’ll want to explore the outer
world of pain and pleasure, forcible sex and maybe even some
shocking expressions. Through it all, enjoy, and follow up with
loving reinforcement. Women in this situation: have no fear of
all the things that make you who you are. If you have shut-down
moments, that is, times when sexual response is interrupted by
your deeply hidden past, explore those things on your own. Use
a heat-based stimulant, like
Vigorelle and take your time with yourself. Openly
embrace those things that make you feel good, even if they seem
unsavory at first. See where it leads you.
Hormonal problems
Childbirth, aging and a number of other health issues can cause
a disruption of hormones that lead to inadequate sexual
response. A doctor can help women address the underlying
hormonal causes, and may even prescribe hormonal treatments that
bring the condition under control. However, even for women in
treatment for hormonal problems, there are a number of good,
natural cures:
Provestra, an all-natural supplement that works to bring
women’s hormones back into balance and to boost the libido; and
topical oils or lubes like
Vigorelle, that contain transdermal ingredients in close
contact with the genitals for immediate sexual boosting effects.
Another incredible help for women is
GenF20HGH, a great supplement that not only boosts libido,
but also addresses all the systems of the body to bring a
woman’s entire equilibrium back to a youthful, vibrant level.
Relationship issues
When love goes sour, the first casualty is in the bedroom. Why?
Because women attach so much importance to love and romance,
that when those things are compromised, she may have trouble
making the leap to sexuality. Experienced men know that they
must keep their woman’s sexuality alive to keep her drawn to
them -- and in fact, keeping the sexual spark going may just be
the thing that keeps couples connected through the tough times.
If you’re in a relationship where there appears to be a threat
to your sex life, it makes sense to do what you can to keep love
alive.
Secret ingredients
Here are a few good additions to your love toolbox:
Vigorelle crème – a nice, sweet and slightly warming crème
to add lubrication and heat to her private parts. Nice surprise
when given by a beloved partner or used in any type of hot
action
Provestra – As a daily rev-up to the woman’s libido, this
all-natural, herbal-based supplement nourishes the entire female
reproductive system. So powerful, a popular herbal guidebook
listed it with this warning: May dramatically increase libido.
Taking charge
Bottom line, despite all the other things we can offer in terms
of a woman’s sex life, the best thing of all is for the woman to
take charge of her own pleasure. By that we mean: any fantasy
is OK, whether you involve your partner or not. Any method of
achieving orgasm is OK ( so long as no one else is hurt).
Anything the woman wishes to bring to the bedroom that will
encourage her pleasure, right on.
Here are a couple of things known to help:
Communication: How do you like it? Women can speak up, either
with words, or by making moves and gently guiding her mate’s
hands, mouth and body to the places she likes best. Men can
discover the things she likes by being bold and creative – and
then carefully listening to and watching her response. Hard and
wild? Soft, loving and careful? Men are encouraged to try
things, be daring, be bold, be creative; do we need to tell you
that she’ll let you know when you oughta stop or are off base?
Openness: Women, be frank about the exact moment things come
undone – and say so in a clear way without blaming. It’s
helpful to just say, “this is what happened” when it comes to
sex, and then explore it together, asking things like, what’s up
with that? Or “could we try it again this other way?” It
isn’t helpful to say, “you made me” OR “you were so stupid
when…” (.. fill in the blanks..) The thing is, women and men
both have to come from a place of understanding that, of course,
their partner wants to please them. Give one another this
benefit of the doubt, introduce some new elements like
Vigorelle, and see what happens.
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