|
Healthy Sex Connection
A fulfilling sex life is critical to overall human health. It
makes for a great means to connection and intimacy, but also
acts as a source of stress relief and yes, even exercise! The
physical and emotional challenges of our daily lives make sex a
welcome little ‘rest stop’ on the road of life, as long as we
share the right connection with someone.
Some of the keys to creating a healthy sexual connection include
understanding of your partner’s body and how it works, how to
ignite and sustain desire between you, and keeping the feelings
between you open and intimate. Communication is always
important, especially when you have unresolved tension between
you over some event or ongoing ‘thing’. Talking these things out
is vital to the health of the relationship, and therefore
contribute to a healthy sexual connection.
Another important issue is the area of sexual taboos. Most of us
have an internal set of rules that tells us what is ok or not in
the bedroom. Sometimes early life experiences can affect
people’s sexuality in adulthood. It can be very hard to break
though these barriers, and can be frustrating to the partner who
wants to experiment more. Openness and communication, plus a
heck of a lot of patience and understanding are needed to allow
these issues to get worked out. Sometimes an experienced
therapist can make the difference.
A healthy sex connection also depends upon what stimulates each
partner. If you can find ways of sharing stimulation, so the
each partner becomes stimulated by the actions of the other, you
have grounds for a highly fulfilling and healthy sexual
connection. Of course this often requires experimentation, and
testing of things that are unfamiliar to you or your partner,
and exploring these avenues can be both highly erotic and good
for intimacy all at once. And as long as both partners like
where you are exploring, give it a go!
One of the best ways to increase your sexual connection with a
partner is to decrease inhibitions in yourself. Overcoming
inhibitions is never easy, but using a few tricks can ease up
the pressure a little. Try the following tips.
First of all, talk about your desires and fantasies. Make them
known to your partner in order to ‘get items on the table.’ Let
him know what you’re interested in trying, or what you might
have difficulty with.
Once you’ve talked about it, either in the bedroom or previously
(to lay the ground rules) begin by slowing way down, or asking
your partner to slow down. You can’t rush something that someone
is having difficulty with. If it is you, tell your partner that
you want to accommodate him but that he needs to slow down to
allow you to get into this new thing.
Next, give yourself ‘outs’ by setting up a signal to use at any
point along the way. Talk with him before hand and choose a
motion or word that indicates for the other partner to slow
down. By letting each other know that when either of you feels
too uncomfortable, you build in ‘emotional safety nets’ that do
wonders for breaking new ground.
The path to having a truly fulfilling relationship is totally
intertwined with having a healthy sexual connection with your
partner. The two are one and the same for most of us. By
exploring what makes the relationship better you get a lot of
what makes the sex better too! Keep the relationship healthy,
and the sex will usually follow!
|
